I have saved the world before breakfast. Settled the debt predicament in Greece before lunch and scaled a wall to ensure I would be home before dinner. I have slept on a pillow top bed, with my eyes open.
I traveled to Japan last week, I now speak fluent Japanese. Amid the plane trip home, our plane was hijacked. Not only did I disarm the hijackers but I also landed the plane safely. Grand theft auto was my only previous piloting experience. I was thanked by the airline. I was thanked by the passengers. Additionally I was thanked profusely by Steven Harper himself. He referred to me as a savior of man kind.
The Queen and I enjoy tea together weekly. I attend church weekly on Sundays. I run marathons biweekly, and am currently training to make it a weekly challenge. I participate in weekly spelling bee's. The shimmering gold medal comes home with me after each competition. I steep tea to perfection in cold water.
I taught Picasso how to paint. I showed Steven Hawking how to publish an inimitable book. My little brother learned how to multiply fractions at the age of two. I suppose you can say I am a good teacher.
A blind child in Africa now reads with ease, after a visit from me. I cook turkey in thirty minutes. In two minutes I consume a box of Oreo cookies. I wash down the cookies with an entire litre of milk, drunken in one minute.
Last year I wrestled a gorilla. I emerged victorious. Last week I held an anaconda. Although it was pitiful in comparison to the one I created for the motion picture. Last night I baked a delectable cake. Duff Goldman constantly pleads for my recipes, he refers to me as the "Ace of Cakes".
My existence has been a mere effortless trial, only analyzing my ample skills for a more bold, demanding future. A future that I can only acquire as a university graduate.
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